I was searching wikipedia for Romanian profanity. And found “a da la nutella”… I adore Nutella; at least adored it… For someone thinking that liquored chocolates are ultimate perversity, the meaning in English was disgusting… WTF “a da la nutella / to hit the nutella” means to have anal sex???????
One cannot have a decent breakfast these days…
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Year 2000 again; Y2K. The year that was supposed to crash all systems in the world but just did crash mine; I moved to Romania and started to blink syntax error….
End of May, less than 6 months in Romania; knew few places and few words. I had an abscess in my mouth, my dental presence being felt on each nerve. The dentist said that it was too late for me and I had to wait until the abscess was fully treated by itself (Yep, it was late because then I was considering “Stomatology” related to stomach and wondering why the Romanian population had such a wide-extent digestion issue)
I couldn’t eat anything for days as I couldn’t chew, with my face resembling the elephant man, having a pumped up left side. I had to feed myself, before the stomach attacked kidneys or liver in despair…
There is (or was) an unfashionably cousy Italian restaurant, vis-à-vis Opera House, named after the Opera House by the genius Italian patrons. They served semi-fresh soups and I was close to the place.
Parked the car in front of the restaurant, under the envying looks of neighborhood ladies (I had a brand new VW Bora, metallic pistachio green, huh) and entered the place.
The pain was controlling all my body and I was leaping instead of walking straight. With the new shape of my head and folded moves, I was the grandson of the Hunchback of Notre Dame. The mixture of old-dirty foreign man and young-excessively painted ladies greeted me with estranged sights.
Seated by a waitress to a table in the corner and given the menu. No need to think, I ordered a chicken soup.
The soup, ready for the last 2 days and boiling, has been served immediately. I had to aromatize the taste, with some lemon juice, few drops.
Called the waitress but she didn’t hear. Called again waiving my hands as supporting indicators. She was still in chat with another waitress.
I shouted, “Could I have some lemon juice?” in Romanian. She turned while staring at me from a distance of 10 meters with an ultimate hate. I shouted again, “Juice, M’am”…
Few clients turned back to me also, throwing question marks. I had to use this chance of attention to tell again my wish; “Lemon, juice?”
Now all clients from all tables are looking at me, and sure they seem to be angry. Meanwhile one of the waitresses, an Oldie-but-Goldie, brought the small bottle of limejuice to my table, laughing hysterically and saying, “Maybe later Cutie, come after midnight”.
It took me few weeks to understand, while learning new words from colleagues.
With my mouth half open, lips squeezed and teeth closed in pain, what I asked sounded as if I was shouting for “Sugi (suck)?” instead of “suc (juice)” at first call. Moreover, I insisted politely on having “la mu.e (blowjob)” while trying to ask for “lamaie (lemon)”
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Do not try to speak a foreign language until you learn all of its slang and profanity. At least do not speak when you cannot control your teeth and lips for whatever is the reason.
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That’s not a story but a memory. One from the many again.
But still. your musical education is my main concern, so just click on the link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhHhKIa8jbo
When you get the taste of lime from your life, just don't be lame. Suck it!
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5 comentarii:
misheard words are the best. :))
their latest album did not please me but i would kill to see them in concert again.
Super stories. You have talent, man.
Advice: blogging means, beside writing, socializing. It's useless to write excellent stories without people knowing about them.
Promotion!
In the world of blogging, a way to promote is to read other people's blogs and comment. They will come to see who commented and I am confident your stories give enough reasons to bring traffic on your blog and also comments.
Other way of promotion could be to send an e-mail to the all employees with the story each time you're writing it ;)
Their days would be happier, at least :)
Thanks Schultz; you are right and I have several unreasonable arguments each starting with "but...". Still do not feel confident enough to promote; being a perfectionist, finding spelling mistakes or skipped details is killing me softly....Still, I will try.
It is not about accuracy of writing, which could be corrected easily, but about quality of the stories. And they are a treat for the reader.
Good luck ;)
Finally... Welcome back! Please write more often... really, i became addicted to reading your blog :)
...my favourite MUSE song is "starlight"
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