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Thanks to the new tech, we do everything by phone or Internet; talking, selling, shopping, getting aroused, learning and even sometimes listening to someone or something.

The door-to-door salesmen of 80’s become the young agents of call centers. Few kids with headsets know what we need, when we need and they even know our mother’s maiden name.

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A very hectic day in the office; 189 e-mails boldly waiting to be read; 2 mobiles and the office phone competing to ring; couple of meetings overlapping; few colleagues back from holidays and frequenting my office in need of reminding me about their existence; an angry client threatening to file complaints to Consumer Protection, parliament, authorities and even to send a letter to Mecca.

When I hang off the last phone, two more colleagues attempted to enter , each holding a white page but I stop them at the doorstep with a hand, like a talented traffic police, showing the ringing phone with the other hand. I am decided to have a looooong conversation with whoever is calling. The line of numbers starting with double zeros indicates an international call.

“Hello, is this Mister Teppich?” I am asked, by a velvet voice of a young girl. Under normal circumstances I would get angry and correct the spelling of my surname loud but now I need this conversation, to hide behind. Also her voice is so soft, I am ready to be her “carpet” (though I am sure she doesn’t mean or speak anything in German).

“Yeah, but I recently rebranded myself as Tetik, T-E-T-I-K, Darling!” I can’t stop myself.

“Aaash, Mr. Tea Tick, Sorry for my mistake, but my records indicates as Teppich”. I couldn’t dare to challenge your records and please you do not challenge my patience.

“Mr. Tea Tick, I am sixteen and I have an offer that you cannot refuse”.

Honey, I'm not sure whether to be honored that my reputation is beyond borders but you are 2 years below the legal age to offer me what I cannot refuse. Still I would rather check your local legislation and might ask for a photo before my final answer.

“Sorry?” I said, “What is your name, M’am?”

“I am sixteen, Mr. Tea Tick”

“Sure, I got it and I am 36. But, your name please? Where are you calling from?” I just wanted to add if her mother knows the international call she makes.

“No, Mr. Tea Tick, my name is S-I-S-T-I-N-E, Sistine; and I am calling you from Chamberlain & Wyman International ”

Upppsss, I did it again.

“So, Mr. Tea Tick, you are the Head of Treasury And Financial Institutions in your company?” Nope, I am the liver of retail banking and it is not my company, I just work here.

“No, Mademoiselle, I used to be… Until a few years ago”, regretting the days when I was bothered only by the beeps of dealing screens in trading room. No human touch, just graphs and numbers…

“Ooo, excuse me Mr. Tea Tick, I was referred to you by Mr. D. We have an exclusive event in September in Prague, for a limited number of 20 bankers, as regard to the effects of Global Warming on Commodity Prices and US dollar indexes. We have an unexpected availability only for one more attendant and we thought you would be the right person”

Yes, with 6 faces impatiently staring at me through the glass office walls, I am the right person for you to talk now, keep on explaining. And of course when remembering about Global Warming and Commodities, I am the 21^st person coming to anyone’s mind.

Though, I am wondering the mimics I could activate on my boss’s face, by bringing a 5,000 EUR protocol expense request, only for the participation fee. I would at least feel a local warming, if not a global one.

I let her talk, about program, subjects, participants, sponsors, prices until everyone got pissed off and left my visibility. Once my horizon has been cleared, I cut her sales pitch “Thanks Honey, for all the information provided. When exactly would be the event? Which dates?”

“6-9 September, Mr. Tea Tick”

“Ahhh, now I am really sorry but exactly on those dates, I will be joining Al Gore at a Panda Hunt in Mexico. Unfortunately I am in a position to refuse your kind invitation”

When I am hanging off, I hear her asking about references to be called.

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I joined CitiBank Bourse Game in 1996 in Istanbul and my deskmate was a very kind & polite Indian, named Anan Dikshit. He was running the Call Center located in India, covering East Europe. The poor guy couldn't introduce himself to anyone during the courses without an explosion of laughter.

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Spending more time on the phone with friends, apologizing for not being able to call earlier instead of straightforward chatting with them. Once I finish the unread e-mails, I will call a friend.